It's been a long time...

Well, I have severely neglected my blog. Actually, I've neglect any blogging in a while. Basically, this is my first blog for 2005. Happy New Year! I don't know if it's worth saying since it's already March. Anyhow, I guess I can say that I'm having a good year, so far (I'm keeping my fingers crossed). I've made some major moves in the last 3 months:

got a new job
got rid of all toxic friends
got my own place

I feel on top of the world because all 3 things are the best thing that could happen to me. I feel so blessed lately. I try to thank God everyday because he's finally taking my calls because I thought I was receiving severe busy signals the last few years. I have like a whole new excitement about life now. Finally, I can say a word that I thought was taboo to say without really meaning and that's 'happy'... Dammit! I'm happy! My goal is to say it and mean it as long as I can.

30 Day Hiatus

Well, It's been a long time since my last blog and it wasn't a very positive one. People must think I've finally had my Falling Down moment (Michael Douglas movie) at work. Unfortunately, I didn't, but I was really close. Anyhow, great things happen last month. I QUIT MY JOB!! Yes, I left the place that made me angry and my career stagnant. Basically, I was offered an opportunity to change my career path and do something more enjoyable. I'm still in shock that I recieved this great opportunity. My problem is that I don't believe in myself as much as I should and my new challenge is proving to myself that I'm capable of doing the work at my new company. However, I do need to give credit to the power of prayer. As I stated in the past, I'm not religious, but I am spiritual. I do believe you need to have internal talks with a higher being to sort the issues that can't always be resolved on your own. That's what I did about my career situation and other things in personal life and I recieved back resolution . It's an amazing thing because I was impatient, which made me very unhappy throughout 2004. When I finally calmed down and checked myself about the negative energy that's when positivity entered and good things happened in my life. I guess that saying is correct about good things happen to those who wait.

My Place of Employment...

I HATE it. I'm so freakin bored by it. I've been doing the same job for 5 years now and working for the same company for 4 years. It's time to go!! I feel so stagnant. I feel like crying at my open-space desk, but I dare not show my tears because the guy across from me can look directly me. I pretend to be working hard by listening to my ipod and typing so many emails in 5 minutes that I wonder if I should went to school to be a sternographer. Actually, I'm sitting there daydreaming about people in my life and things I rather be doing. It's getting so bad that I just surf the net and check out the latest auctions on eBay. I think it's time to look for a new job. Screw that...a new career! I'm no longer feeling my industry. I love the perks, but I hate the drama. Well, I spent the last hour sending my resume to several folks. Hopefully, someone will call or email for interview. I feel like I'm dying, a slow and battered death. Plus, I'm PMSing, so I'm in a really great mood!

Please! Please! Please! Somebody employ me!

I Met Someone

On Friday, I met a guy at a club. I hate meeting guys at clubs, but I think I met a normal one. Well, he's definitely interesting. Anyhow, why am I so giddy? Why am I getting worked up about him? We haven't had a first date, so I don't know if he eats with utensils properly. I'm big on proper dining ettiquette, so if dude is sloppy, we will not have date number two.

Anyway, this guy has already impressed me. My issue is getting my hopes up too quickly. I just want to have our first date, so I can put out verdict if he's crazy or not. I'll guess I have to wait until Friday.

My New Favorite Tee

Jealous Tee
Originally uploaded by Tradan.

I saw this t-shirt today on the tv show E! News Weekend. I said I must get that t-shirt! It's the story of my life...well, right now. I cannot understand jealousy. It's an ugly emotion or state of mind. I will be a liar if I said I never been jealous of someone, but I don't act on it. I've been too ashamed to act on it. In the past, I would acknowlege it and make the right decisions to improve my situation; therefore, I would not display any resentment. Anyhow, I find it more upsetting to discover people in my life (well, they are no longer in my life) are jealous of me. I don't even like labeling a person as jealous because I feel no one should be jealous of me. I feel my imperfections are so apparent that anyone's jealous nature torwards me is ridiculous and very sad.

Well, I cannot change anyone's negative thoughts about me; instead, I'll buy this shirt and wear it proud. Basically, I'm letting my jealous camp know that I will not let you Steal My Sunshine.

Negative Space

I'm not doing well lately. I've been on a emotional rollercoaster for the last week or so. My professional life and personal life has crash something awful. I'm trying to maintain, but I'm on the verge of going off pretty soon on some unexpecting victim. I have a problem with letting issues with others build until it is too late to repair. In the past, my problem is letting issues linger and not facing issues once they arrive. However, the situation at hand is getting to the point where I'm about to curse somebody out and I know this is how they want me to react. I'm trying to take the high road and turn my back on thier negative energy because I rather have karma deal with the Evil-doers.

My mind and my spirit is wrapped with negative energy. I asked God last night to help me. I felt really guilty with my request because I don't go to him often and I don't like talking to him about me. Usually, I ask to help others in my life, but this time I really need his help. I don't consider myself a religious person, but I need some type of spirital guidance because my energy is low and negative.

I thought writing about my current mindset will help alleviate the negativity. At least, I'm admitting it, which is a huge step for me. I guess I just have to give my self to time to deal with life's current hiccups.

Wishful Thinking

I had an interview today. I believe the interview went well. I really want this new position. Finally, it's a position in my area of interest. Of course, I'm doubting myself and feeling I won't get the position. Everyone is telling me to think positive and I'm trying my damnedest to think positive. However, I just feel that I won't get it because it's too good to be true. I want to pray about it, but I feel guilty about praying for anything that suits only my best interests...is that wrong?? Oh well, I'm just going do my best with thinking positive.